Thursday, May 28, 2009

[Dark Beauty]

only in the moonlight

can you see her form

her subtle shapes, contours

soft, rolling edges

only slightly torn


you may catch a glimpse

of her chilling beauty

only in the light of night

obscure, expansive and enticing

forcing to follow, pursue and bite


out of a dark so deep

your eyes must adjust to see

a dark luminosity

that is complex and less naïve


an aesthetic so bold

so inviting

it reaches a depth unknown

teeming with words, music and art

an expression desperate to be shown


in the darkness

lies a strange kind of beauty

beckoning to be seen

open your mind

to the magic that lifts the soul, heals the heart

transforming the dark night into a dream

Dark Night of the Soul

A dark night of the soul is a period in our lives in which we may experience great sadness, loss, anxiety or fear. It is often accompanied by a sort of stagnation – a time when nothing seems to take shape, plans fall away, creativity is stiffened and life seemingly slows down. It is a time when the potential to become influenced by our daimonic energy is great. The daimon- in Ancient Greece- was a term to describe an unnamed spirit that pushes us to our fates. This energy is most noticeable in this liminal space – the threshold of being not quite in and not all the way out. During the dark night of the soul, we are forced to let go and let God. Likened to a time of incubation and transformation, this ebb of life creates a space to extend past our own parameters and allow for greater possibilities to take shape. When nothing is seemingly going right in our lives, we are forced to stop and let things be. In our stillness, we may become open to opportunities, interests and goals we were otherwise too distracted to acknowledge or give energy to grow.

Contemporary psychology usually focuses on shining a bright light onto our pain and sadness. It searches to uncover, label and find quick resolution to our problems. I suggest using this time to become familiar with your darkness. Depression and sadness is inherent to life and allows us to know our own happiness and livelihood. A dark night of the soul has been described as a black sun in our lives and it can change how we see things. The light of this dark sun shows us the shadows, depths and complexities of life that the naïve solar light overlooks. In our darkness, we can become less one-dimensional and grow into a person with more depth – someone worth listening, knowing and loving in both dark and light. A dark night takes you deeper than an emotion. Beneath depression or a dark mood exists a space. When we go down through it, we soon find ourselves beneath it – where it no longer exists.

I suggest that this dark night is an opportunity. If you allow the ego to fall away and reconnect with Life, you will realize that both the ebb and flow of Life is Life in motion. We are always moving forward. Take a moment to look around you. Forget who you think you are. Disregard who you thought you would be. Let go of all external identities and embrace your scintilla – the spark that lies at the heart of every person. It is the spark of the Divinity reminding you of Who You Really Are. Trust in it.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

[liminal spaces]

Out on the lash

Just before the next edge

There is a space


Having not quite left

And just about to enter

There is a room


Outside, there is a great light

Inside, a soft kind of dark

And in between the two

A deep shade of grey

Known only in this place


Balanced in between this threshold

Of being not quite in

And not all the way out

Allows for a peripheral view

And a chance to be still

To take stock of where you are

In order to decide

Who you will be


Limited only in space

Liminal spaces

Offer endless possibilities 

Acceptance Allows For Change

For most of my life, I did not appreciate the power and influence of thoughts. I grew up with a mother who’s first name could have been Pollyanna, but never applied the idea of positive thinking to my life the way she did. For the most part, it felt fake and a little forced to think that ‘all will be well’ when things around were falling apart. One of the principles of The Secret is to think wonderful things into your life. Prosperity, love and abundance can be drawn into your life through the Law of Attraction by your thoughts. The one caveat being: you must truly believe that what is being thought is possible. Not only possible but absolutely true. That is where I found a huge disconnect between principle and practice. How can we believe in prosperity when we have no money or are deeply in debt? How can we know romantic love when no one is around to love us? The idea of The Secret is to think to yourself over and over what you wish for until you start to believe that it will be manifested. The ‘fake it until you make it’ idea sits uneasy with me because it is seeded in an untruth. I do not believe in sugar coating what is or thinking that lemons must be turned into lemonade. Sometimes you just have lemons.

So how do we change our current situation? I think bringing about change starts with something simple. Acceptance. Truly accept something for what it is. Then and only then can we decide to change it. People fear that by doing this, they will passively allow any condition to remain. What really happens is that we see things what they truly are – meaningless. When we accept things for the way they are, we stop labeling them as ‘good’ or ‘bad’. Without these subjective, ever changing labels of ‘good’ and ‘bad’, we let people, circumstances and events just be. We can then start to think them into whatever we choose. If you deem your career as uninspiring and awful, your forced positive thoughts will have little effect because your true belief is that your career is crappy. The thought that is genuinely believed will create your reality. Stop seeing your financial situation as negative and simply as a physical amount of money. Then go about the business of thinking prosperity into your life.

Remember, everything is meaningless save for the meaning we give it. When we change our minds about something, what we see begins to change. I challenge you to create something anew in your life after fully accepting it as it is. Watch your reality rearrange itself to reinforce and reflect what you decide life to be. In that moment, you are creator. Once you experience your ability to create, you are free to design anything. Anything and everything is possible.

Sunday, May 17, 2009


words tried to manipulate
change something that was not there

words tried to beg and plea
persuade something already convinced

words tried to lash out in anger
hurt something that could not be harmed

words tried patience and understanding
love something that was already gone

words got in the way
could not shorten the space
the g a p
you and me

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Becoming Familiar with Being

What have you been up to lately? Whenever someone asks me this question, my answer is usually a recitation of things that I have been doing. We love spending our time doing things and all of our attention is focused on the next thing to be done. We go to work, hang out with friends, spend time shopping, work out at the gym and clean our houses. We get a sense of accomplishment and usefulness by keeping busy. Doing is an activity found in the mind. The ego defines itself by our past actions and our anticipated ones of the future. While our ego is busy ‘doing’, our soul is longing to be.

When have you spent some time just being? Being allows us to know our compassion, patience, happiness and joy. When we permit ourselves the time to be still, we become attuned to who we really are. There are no steps to happiness. You can only be happy. When we stand in our ‘beingness’ of being happy, we are telling the Universe what we are. The Universe responds with experiences that confirm our good feelings. We get more than we can handle. When we are still, we soak in the moment and root ourselves more deeply in Life. We relax into the moment and accept it as is. We learn that there is nothing that we have to do, nothing that must be said and no one to forgive.

I have experienced times in my life when, by all outward appearances, not much has been going on. In fact, I have recently acknowledged my own ‘dark night of the soul’ – a period of incubation, transition and spiritual alchemy that forces a person to let go and let God. While my external experiences are seemingly sluggish and uninspired, my internal world is being reshaped, reconfigured and reborn.

Letting go of the steering wheel of Life and trusting I will be guided brings me into a state of being. From that place, I allow the creative powers of Life to present possibilities I could not have imagined.

Achieving things can be enjoyable but too much focus is on material things and accolades rather than personal development and spiritual expansion. The ideal is to be both engaged in an active life and detached from it in your stillness. It has become an increasingly common experience to tell people that although I may not be working in the traditional sense, I have been hard at work developing a deeper connection to this universal truth: There is nothing that you need to do. Being is more than enough.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

~something said~

"you are an enigma,
wrapped in a riddle,
rolled in a paradox,
dipped in sugar."

Sunday, May 10, 2009

[love like no other]

love like no other

if you could only see what i see

you would know that love has always been here

it has travelled the prairies, the country, the earth

it has been a guiding force in times of uncertainty

it has taken shape into something brilliant, beautiful and strong


if you could only hear what i hear

you would know that love sounds just like you

a softness in voice

a tenderness of tone

it has called the both of you home

to fill the space with the sounds of life

the sounds of laughter

the sounds of family


if you could only feel what i feel

you would know that love has the power to restore

a gentle touch can remove resilient pain

and can calm anxious nerves

it is felt in every limb

in every cell

and every space in between


if you could only know what i know

you would understand

that this love is like no other

it has taken hold of two people

of kindred spirits

of unparalled quality

and chooses to express itself

in unending ways


This is Love

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Following Your Intuition

I have spent my entire life listening and following the guidance and hunches of my intuition. As an introvert, natural observer and intent listener, I became familiar with my intuition at a young age. For years, I believed that following this 6th sense was a way to avoid unpleasant experiences. You know, your walking down a dark street and get the feeling you are being followed, so you take a pit stop at a corner store to let them pass you by. That kind of intuitional hit is important, on a very basic level and it shaped my idea about its purpose for years. Now being 30 and having lived the consequences of following my ‘gut feelings’, I have come to the conclusion that listening to that inner voice does not give way to avoiding painful and difficult experiences. Sometimes it brings you right into the heart of them. The most powerful of life lessons are often found in and after difficult times.

Is our intuitional system designed to lead us to turbulent events to expedite our growth? No – I am suggesting that intuitional hits are guidance’s for us in that particular moment. They are not all seeing, clairvoyant glimpses into the future. They advise us what we should do in that instant, based on who we are choosing to be. Intuition invites us to choose something that our conscious mind did not consider or catch. It is believed that the mind is processing billions of bits of information every second, but we are only aware of about 2000 of them. Our awareness is shaped by what we believe to be true and what we expect to see. Intuition taps into the billions of unprocessed bits of information and brings it to the forefront our attention based on our soul’s contract.

Everyone is getting this assistance in each moment but are too busy or too distracted to hear it. Here is my suggestion: over the next few days, follow that inner voice, regardless of what your rational mind is thinking. Perhaps it is saying to read a particular book or relax at a coffee shop you walk by. Let that be your guide and enjoy the experience you never ‘thought’ to have had but were directed to nonetheless.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

The Little Soul and the Sun

by Neale Donald Walsch
Illustrated by Frank Riccio


Once upon no time there was a Little Soul who said to God, "I know who I am!"

And God said, "That's wonderful! Who are you?"

And the Little Soul shouted, "I'm the Light!"

God smiled a big smile, "That's right!" God exclaimed. "You are the Light."

The Little Soul was so happy, for it had figured out what all the souls in the Kingdom were there to figure out. "Wow," said the Little Soul, "this is really cool!"

But soon, knowing who it was was not enough. The Little Soul felt stirrings inside, and now wanted to be who it was. And so the Little Soul went back to God (which is not a bad idea for all souls who want to be Who They Really Are) and said, "Hi, God! Now that I know Who I Am, is it okay for me to be it?"

And God said, "You mean you want to be Who You Already Are?

"Well," replied the Little Soul, "it's one thing to know Who I Am, and another thing altogether to actually be it. I want to feel what it's like to be the Light!"

"But you already are the Light," God repeated, smiling again.

"Yes, but I want to see what that feels like!" cried the Little Soul.

"Well," said God with a chuckle, "I suppose I should have known. You always were the adventuresome one." Then God's expression changed. "There's only one thing..."

"What?" asked the Little Soul.

"Well, there is nothing else but the Light. You see, I created nothing but what you are; and so, there is no easy way for you to experience yourself as Who You Are, since there is nothing that you are not."

"Huh?" said the Little Soul, who was not a little confused.

"Think of it this way," said God. "You are like a candle in the Sun. Oh, you're there all right. Along with a million, ka-gillion other candles who make up the Sun. And the sun would not be the Sun without you. Nay, it would be a sun without one of its candles...and that would not be the Sun at all; for it would not shine as brightly. Yet, how to know yourself as the Light when you are amidst the Light--that is the question."

"Well," the Little Soul perked up, "You're God. Think of something!"

Once more God smiled. "I already have," God said. "Since you cannot see yourself as the Light when you are in the Light, we'll surround you with darkness."

"What's darkness?" the Little Soul asked.

God replied, "It is that which you are not."

"Will I be afraid of the dark?" cried the Little Soul.

"Only if you choose to be," God answered. "There is nothing, really, to be afraid of, unless you decide that there is. You see, we are making it all up. We are pretending."

"Oh," said the Little Soul, and felt better already.

Then God explained that, in order to experience anything at all, the exact opposite of it will appear.

"It is a great gift," God said, "because without it, you could not know what anything is like. You could not know Warm without Cold, Up without Down, Fast without Slow. You could not know Left without Right, Here without There, Now without Then."

"And so," God concluded, "when you are surrounded with darkness, do not shake your fist and raise your voice and curse the darkness. Rather be a Light unto the darkness, and don't be mad about it. Then you will know Who You Really Are, and all others will know, too. Let your Light shine so that everyone will know how special you are!"

"You mean it's okay to let others see how special I am?" asked the Little Soul.

"Of course!" God chuckled. "It's very okay! But remember, 'special' does not mean 'better.' Everybody is special, each in their own way! Yet many others have forgotten that. They will see that it is okay for them to be special only when you see that it is okay for you to be special."

"Wow," said the Little Soul, dancing and skipping and laughing and jumping with joy. "I can be as special as I want to be!"

"Yes, and you can start right now," said God, who was dancing and skipping and laughing right along with the Little Soul.

"What part of special do you want to be?"

"What part of special?" the Little Soul repeated. "I don't understand."

"Well," God explained, "being the Light is being special, and being special has a lot of parts to it. It is special to be kind. It is special to be gentle. It is special to be creative. It is special to be patient. Can you think of any other ways it is special to be?"

The Little Soul sat quietly for a moment. "I can think of lots of ways to be special!" the Little Soul then exclaimed. "It is special to be helpful. It is special to be sharing. It is special to be friendly. It is special to be considerate of others!"

"Yes!" God agreed, "and you can be all of those things, or any part of special you wish to be, at any moment. That's what it means to be the Light."

"I know what I want to be, I know what I want to be!" the Little Soul announced with great excitement. "I want to be the part of special called 'forgiving'. Isn't it special to be forgiving?"

"Oh, yes," God assured the Little Soul. "That is very special."

"Okay," said the Little Soul. "That's what I want to be. I want to be forgiving. I want to experience myself as that."

"Good," said God, "but there's one thing you should know."

The Little Soul was becoming a bit impatient now. It always seemed as though there were some complication.

"What is it?" the Little Soul sighed.

"There is no one to forgive."

"No one?" The Little Soul could hardly believe what had been said.

"No one!" God repeated. "Everything I have made is perfect. There is not a single soul in all creation less perfect than you. Look around you."

It was then that the Little Soul realized a large crowd had gathered. Souls had come from far and wide ~ from all over the Kingdom ~ for the word had gone forth that the Little Soul was having this extraordinary conversation with God, and everyone wanted to hear what they were saying. Looking at the countless other souls gathered there, the Little Soul had to agree. None appeared less wonderful, less magnificent, or less perfect than the Little Soul itself. Such was the wonder of the souls gathered around, and so bright was their Light, that the Little Soul could scarcely gaze upon them.

"Who, then, to forgive?" asked God.

"Boy, this is going to be no fun at all!" grumbled the Little Soul. "I wanted to experience myself as One Who Forgives. I wanted to know what that part of special felt like."

And the Little Soul learned what it must feel like to be sad. But just then a Friendly Soul stepped forward from the crowd.

"Not to worry, Little Soul," the Friendly Soul said, "I will help you."

"You will?" the Little Soul brightened. "But what can you do?"

"Why, I can give you someone to forgive!"

"You can?"

"Certainly!" chirped the Friendly Soul. "I can come into your next lifetime and do something for you to forgive."

"But why? Why would you do that?" the Little Soul asked. "You, who are a Being of such utter perfection! You, who vibrate with such a speed that it creates a Light so bright that I can hardly gaze upon you! What could cause you to want to slow down your vibration to such a speed that your bright Light would become dark and dense? What could cause you ~ who are so light that you dance upon the stars and move through the Kingdom with the speed of your thought--to come into my life and make yourself so heavy that you could do this bad thing?"

"Simple," the Friendly Soul said. "I would do it because I love you."

The Little Soul seemed surprised at the answer.

"Don't be so amazed," said the Friendly Soul, "you have done the same thing for me. Don't you remember? Oh, we have danced together, you and I, many times. Through the eons and across all the ages have we danced. Across all time and in many places have we played together. You just don't remember."

"We have both been All Of It. We have been the Up and the Down of it, the Left and the Right of it. We have been the Here and the There of it, the Now and the Then of it. We have been the male and the female, the good and the bad; we have both been the victim and the villain of it."

"Thus have we come together, you and I, many times before; each bringing to the other the exact and perfect opportunity to Express and to Experience Who We Really Are. And so," the Friendly Soul explained further, "I will come into your next lifetime and be the 'bad one' this time. I will do something really terrible, and then you can experience yourself as the One Who Forgives."

"But what will you do?" the Little Soul asked, just a little nervously, "that will be so terrible?"

"Oh," replied the Friendly Soul with a twinkle, "we'll think of something."

Then the Friendly Soul seemed to turn serious, and said in a quiet voice, "You are right about one thing, you know."

"What is that?" the Little Soul wanted to know.

"I will have to slow down my vibration and become very heavy to do this not-so-nice thing. I will have to pretend to be something very unlike myself. And so, I have but one favor to ask of you in return."

"Oh, anything, anything!" cried the Little Soul, and began to dance and sing, "I get to be forgiving, I get to be forgiving!"

Then the Little Soul saw that the Friendly Soul was remaining very quiet.

"What is it?" the Little Soul asked. "What can I do for you? You are such an angel to be willing to do this for me!"

"Of course this Friendly Soul is an angel!" God interrupted. "Everyone is! Always remember: I have sent you nothing but angels."

And so the Little Soul wanted more than ever to grant the Friendly Soul's request. "What can I do for you?" the Little Soul asked again.

"In the moment that I strike you and smite you," the Friendly Soul replied, "in the moment that I do the worst to you that you could possible imagine ~ in that very moment..."

"Yes?" the Little Soul interrupted, "yes...?"

"Remember Who I Really Am."

"Oh, I will!" cried the Little Soul, "I promise! I will always remember you as I see you right here, right now!"

"Good," said the Friendly Soul, "because, you see, I will have been pretending so hard, I will have forgotten myself. And if you do not remember me as I really am, I may not be able to remember for a very long time. And if I forget Who I Am, you may even forget Who You Are, and we will both be lost. Then we will need another soul to come along and remind us both of Who We Are."

"No, we won't!" the Little Soul promised again. "I will remember you! And I will thank you for bringing me this gift ~ the chance to experience myself as Who I Am."

And so, the agreement was made. And the Little Soul went forth into a new lifetime, excited to be the Light, which was very special, and excited to be that part of special called Forgiveness.

And the Little Soul waited anxiously to be able to experience itself as Forgiveness, and to thank whatever other soul made it possible. And at all the moments in that new lifetime, whenever a new soul appeared on the scene, whether that new soul brought joy or sadness--and especially if it brought sadness--the Little Soul thought of what God had said.

"Always remember," God had smiled, "I have sent you nothing but angels."