Kairos: Living In Between Time

Kairos is an ancient Greek word for opportune time. In fact, the Greeks had two words for time: chronos and kairos. The first described chronological or sequential time, whereas kairos is described as the moments between time when something extraordinary occurs. For me, life is all about timing and kairos. Being in tune with the flow of life is to know when to will something into being or when to just let it happen.

Finding the balance between the two is a way to live in this world but not of it. This delicate timing is the intangible ingredient when making decisions. Often times we want to make a decision right away, in order to satisfy the ego’s feeling of accomplishment. When we are in the midst of feeling uncertain about what to do, I would suggest that this might not be the right time to make the decision. It may not be the best time to will something into your life, but rather to let it manifest on its own.

Each day, we are faced with a gamut of decisions to make. From the very small and routine, most times the choice is near automatic– like waking up on time for work or choosing to exercise that day. Some decisions carry more weight, meaning that we give them more significance, like deciding whether to accept a job offer, how to spend your annual vacation or considering a move out of the country.  It is important to note that we give meaning to everything in our lives. A million people can perceive the exact same event, person or thing in just as many different ways.  If we take a moment to consider the weight in which we give a decision, we can begin to understand why we are giving it such importance or any significance at all.

Indecisiveness can be crippling in that it keeps us from moving forward in our lives. It is displayed as an inability to choose because we are afraid to. When even the smallest of decisions cannot be made and the result is no action at all, life does not flow. Can you think of a time that you found yourself stuck in making what would usually be a routine decision?  Why do we get stuck and how can we overcome this inertia in our lives?

Getting stuck is often a reflection of our own perceived lack of self worth. Often times, it is our feelings of unworthiness that prevent us from choosing freely.  When we are concerned about how we will be perceived and judged by others for the decision that we make, we question what to do. The emotion that fuels the perception of unworthiness is fear. We are afraid of choosing the “wrong” thing. The ego not only justifies the fear, it feeds it by rationalizing it. The ego reminds us of other decisions we have made that resulted in less than desired results. Do not be fooled by the mind.

The ego does not understand that all choices lead to consciousness. Imagine all of the choices you have made up to this point. Perhaps some decisions have brought about some suffering but ultimately all your suffering has brought you to this moment. In this moment, you are present. You have grown in consciousness because of the choices you have made. Be grateful for them.

Right choice or the choice that leads to no suffering does not happen through thinking. Only in present moment awareness do we connect to our higher self and through that connection we will know what to do. It has been described as a ready-made realization. A simple knowing of what to do will be revealed to you. In the stillness, where no fear resides, your true nature exists and it will guide you to the optimal choice. In fact, no choice really needs to be made. It is the mind that likes to evaluate and compare in an attempt to decide. The soul needs no such analysis. When the time is right and if you are present, the realization blooms and makes itself known. The realization may come as a feeling of knowing or it may come to you as a synchronistic event or sudden opportunity that was not previously known.

To stir the stagnated energy of indecisiveness, I propose that you step more fully into the present moment. Allow yourself a chance to be still. With a quieted mind, our soul has the opportunity to rise up to our awareness and make its intentions known. A good question to ask is: If I were not afraid, what would I choose? Ask this question with a purity of intention and expect a response.  Let your higher self guide you in the times that your egoic mind has failed you. As you become familiar with the inner guidance of your soul, you will find that Life has a beautiful flow to it. Find that flow in your everyday by connecting to the divinity within you and enjoy life…not through ordinary time but one rooted in kairos.

Tenets of Spirituality

I came across a great list that describes what makes for good spirituality - Humanist Contemplative Blog. As soon as I finished reading, I thought to myself that this list is not only a guide to our spiritual life but it is applicable to life in general. 

Three in particular resonated with me: keeping humble while gaining knowledge, accepting the impermanent and holding compassion as a guiding force. Imagine the impact on our experience if we approached our working life or leisure pursuits while keeping these ideas in mind? 

grace & gratitude,

Kevin

Redefining Strength

Nancy Colier wrote a great article for the Huffington Post called: True Strength - Learning to Feel What Is. In it, she describes the pattern most of us have when it comes to painful or stressful emotions -  to pretend that they do not exist. In doing so, we create a sort of monster. These unexpressed feelings are currents of energy within our body, an energy that impacts our health. Both our mental and physical states of well being may suffer when feelings are left unattended. That is exactly what they need - attention. Painful emotions, such as anger, sadness or angst must be given conscious attention. In the light of consciousness, darkness can no longer be.


I think that we need to give a new meaning to word "strength" to include emotional awareness. We would do well to revere those who are conscious of their pain and, in fact, learn something of value from it and ultimately transcend it. Someone who is emotionally strong should not be equated to one who conceals their feelings but one who gives witness and expression to them. Remember, we are not our emotions and feelings are neither good nor bad, they simply are. What really defines us is our resulting action. To be truly strong is to feel the sadness or anger with a sense of peaceful detachment and non-judgement and to act in a compassionate, truthful way.


grace & gratitude,
Kevin

~something said~

"The snow goose need not bathe to make itself white. Neither need you do anything but be yourself." 

~Lao-Tzu

Concept of Self and Esteem

The concepts of anything self – esteem, confidence, love are all ideas surrounding and supporting the ego. The ego’s perception of being fractured or singular feeds the concept of self and of it’s own lacking. It is a structure born of duality. Duality is the idea that the mind and body are distinct. The ego believes it is separate from everything else and this is how we perceive our reality – a reality that is subjective and personal. I would invite you to consider where and why these constructs of self exist. If you are feeling like you have low self-esteem, place some attention on the role of your ego at that moment. These feelings may arise because it is your ego at the forefront, prescribing its insufficiencies as your own. It is the nature of the mind to see itself as less than because it is always comparing itself to others. This game of comparison dictates that one must be better than the other. Without such foolish judgments, we would have no experience of low or high esteem. Our esteem would simply be. Ultimately, our esteem or confidence is a neutral state of being, neither good nor bad. We have an opportunity to accept it a state of being. And with conscious awareness, we may choose any other way to be in this world.

The ego is a result of the impressive development of the brain and in particular the pre frontal cortex. It is a powerful, well-developed tool that has led us to be reflective, referential and believe in our own separateness. Consequently, it has overstepped its usefulness. The incessant mind chatter and constant judgments of yourself and others create the threat to your esteem. The constant streams of thoughts are not your true nature. The essence that is you is not to be defined by the mind but rather experienced as an inner state of awareness, joy and peace.

You are connected to and a part of all the love, esteem and confidence you could possibly imagine. There is no need to search for a book, guru or exercise routine to build your self-esteem. All the esteem you could ever hope for is already in you. You are the esteem in which you perceive to be lacking. Let the book, guru and exercises be the tools that you use to your find own esteem. They are at best pointers back to you as the source of what you are missing. If you follow the ego to search for self-confidence outside of yourself, you may find a temporary fix but it will be dependant on your continuing to do that activity.  It will also be at the expense of perceiving that someone else is less than you. Ultimately your external solution will fail you because someone else is bound to come along and display greater confidence. The ego will be hurt and your new self-confidence will be in jeopardy. I would like to propose a way to infuse your life with confidence in a way that is not contingent on anything outside of yourself.  It involves refusing to compare yourself to anyone or anything.

One of my favorite states of being is when I am able to witness life around me without labeling anything. Usually this experience follows a highly stressful, emotionally charged event but I’ve learned to mimic it at other times. I believe it is my soul taking charge of my physical by shutting off my brain from incessant thinking. It is a mechanism that forces me to run the feelings through my body and give consciousness to them. Not mind attention that labels the feelings, but conscious attention that simply lets the feelings be. During this time, I am able to witness the world around me with a peaceful detachment. Often times, in the stillness, I find my attention gravitates to something simple but infinitely beautiful. I will take notice of an impressive tree, snowflakes falling or gentle music playing somewhere in the background. The result is a smile reaching my lips. I’ve remembered to not take life too seriously. And I’ve reconnected to my wholeness. My esteem is no longer low. My sense of esteem simply is. It is complete, intact and infinite.  

Practical Ways to Living Your Truth

Practical Ways To Living Your Truth

Anytime you are in service to another you are living your truth. The soul’s purpose is always to help, assist or guide others. You are one part of the greater whole. Our interconnection to everyone and every thing is becoming more apparent. There is now scientific evidence that points to the truth “We Are All One”. As synchronistic events happen “to you”, you are a part of synchronistic events for others. There will be times that you will be in just the right place, at just the right time to say just the right thing to someone. That action, word or deed will be in service to another because it may profoundly resonate with their soul and shift their perspective.

Being in service to another can be as simple of giving someone your full attention as they speak or holding the door for another as they enter the room behind you. The service itself is not as important as the intention and the energy behind the action. When we serve another, we acknowledge their being. Every person wants to be seen and heard. Our acts of service are a way of saying “I see you”. That validation builds confidence and esteem in others while it connects you more closely to life.

Full acceptance of the present moment is the way to truth. The present moment is the truth because it is what it is. When we accept things as they are we are allowing for life to flow. Resistance of any kind leads to suffering and prevents the flow of life to work as the agent of change in our lives. The truth is that we can have the life we have always dreamed. The first step to that life is fully accepting the one you have now. If you are resisting your current circumstance, you will be preventing yourself from changing what is no longer serving you. Try non-resistance as a different way of looking at something. When we change the way we see things, the things we see change.

Living within your means is a statement of truth. Our culture is obsessed with consuming and buying more than what we really need. This vicious cycle of over spending and over consuming is a result of an ego identified with form. The ego is never satisfied. It will always be threatened by what others have and it will justify a purchase to ensure it feels adequate and its identity stays intact. The burden of living beyond your means is not only on your finances. This burden taxes your energy and your energetic system. It takes a lot of energy to maintain a falsehood. The pretense that you can afford things that you cannot diminishes your light. It is a projection of an illusion your ego is desperate to maintain and the result is your living an inauthentic life.

Pay close attention to your life. As Paulo Coelho put it: “when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it”. I promise you that if you pay close attention, you will notice that Life is always speaking to you. Look for the synchronicities that unfold in your life. Expect that each person you encounter have a message for you. Life is always guiding us to our higher truths. Listen for it in breeze around you. Remember that nothing happens by coincidence. A great way to pay attention to life is by non-judgmental observation. Spend some time simply observing the world around you without labeling it or judging it. Take a walk in nature and remove the mind chatter labeling the “tree” or “flower”; simply observe and listen.

Follow your intuition. Your intuition is the message system between your body and your soul. Your hunches and feelings can be great pointers to your truth. When the mind is too caught up in the illusions of the world, the body knows the truth. Feelings you have when you are making a decision or meeting someone for the first time should not be dismissed. Honor these insights as your connection with something greater than yourself and investigate these feelings with an open heart.

The truth of who you are is not found in any possession, job title or place. Identification with form of any kind keeps you in the illusion that you are your body. Deriving a sense of self from possessions leads to suffering because all forms will come to an end. Remember to be in the world but not of it. The truth is that we are more than our bodies. Science has discovered that all of the cells in our body change not every seven years, as once believed, but every year. The body that you have now is not the same as the one you had a year ago. But the awareness or the observer of life has remained. Now, more than ever, is a great time to put your energies into something that is real and genuine. Your soul is never changing. It is of the formless and the closer you get to your soul, the closer you get to your Truth.

~something said~

“As you begin to release the constraints that bind you to circumstances

you have outgrown, you will discover that the direction of choice

is found on a road you must travel alone.”

-Rasha

5 Ways Life Calls Us to Truth

5 Ways Life Calls Us to Truth

We are all in possession of a variety of tools that we can use as a way to guide us to our truth and let us better hear the messages of the Creator. Intuitive insights, synchronistic events, our inner voice, creative ideas and acts of kindness are all made available to us for this purpose.

Intuitive Insights: Intuitive insights are no longer exclusive to psychics. These moments of clarity occur more frequently as we become increasingly present and aware. When we have quieted the mind and have created the space between ego and the self, then the intuitive guidance can be heard. The insights come as a knowing that is not fueled by emotion but steeped in truth. It is a feeling of certainty when you were confused. And when we stop questioning the guidance that comes to us, we are free to make a decision that is in alignment with our soul.

Synchronistic Events: Carl Jung coined the term synchronicity to describe two events that are unlikely to occur together actually happening in a meaningful way. How many times have you experienced something occurring to you at just the right time? Or have you run into someone that offered just the right piece of advice? These encounters have very little do to with chance and everything to do with the greater Divine plan. The universe is not a random place but it is well ordered. Nothing happens by coincidence. Pay close attention to these synchronistic events and the significance or message that they carry.

Inner Voice: Although very seldom an actual voice, these inner callings can come as a well placed thought to try something new or take a certain action. I have experienced the inner voice as my own thought but with a different quality. It is often times more clear, and arises seemingly out of nowhere. Not to be mistaken for the mindless chatter that goes on in the mind, the inner voice is clear, calm and always Life affirming. It can be as simple as a making a sudden decision to take a left when you normally go right.

Creative Ideas: The soul is always looking for ways to be creative and expressive. How many times have you had the inkling to write, paint or pursue a creative endeavor but ended up talking yourself out of it? When we are too caught up in the illusion of life – meaning when we are too entrenched in the variety of roles we play (employee, mother, student, athlete), we may not be still enough to listen to these inner callings. The creativity that your soul wants to express may not be artistic. It may be expressed in the way you handle a difficult conversation or how you solve a problem at work. The soul is endlessly inventive and innovative. It wants you to use your gifts and talents in a way that is supportive, connecting and loving.

Acts of Kindness: Whenever you get the feeling to say a kind word or act in a loving way to another, it is your soul that is bringing you closer to your truth. The act can be simple by all external appearances but it may prove to be magnificent and magical in how it heals or comforts another. The truth is that you cannot give to another something that you do not already have. When you “give away” a smile, kind word or any other act of kindness, you are demonstrating to the universe that you possess that very thing. The universe responds by giving you with more of it. It will be returned to you tenfold.

A deeper truth, as I have come to know is this: The very thing that you wish for, if you give to another, comes back to you. If you want more love in your life, be more loving to those around you. The universe cannot help but respond to these statements of self-declaration. Your truth is found in your definition of “I am…”. When you love another, you are stating, “I am love”. We are all creators. We are all containers of Truth. What fills your container? What statements of self-declaration are you making? If you want a life of peace, abundance and love, be peace, abundant and loving. I am peace. I am abundant. I am love.

The God in me salutes the God in you.

~something said~

"Every truth passes through three stages before it is recognized. In the first, it is ridiculed, in the second it is opposed, in the third it is regarded as self-evident."

- Arthur Schopenhauer

The Face of Truth

The Face of Truth

We all lead complex lives that are filled with to-do lists, appointments and all the other routine life stuff that can make the calling to truth difficult to hear, much less to follow. The ego is sophisticated at presenting false concepts and shadow beliefs that can easily be mistaken as truth- if we do not pay close attention. So often we are caught up in the illusions of life that it may take a significant life experience to wake us up to what is real. How then can we navigate ourselves through the chaos of our lives and into our truth?

I believe that we are in the midst of an emerging collective consciousness that is seeking spiritual truth. Like a phoenix rising, the soul is rising up and connecting us to Source in countless ways. As the link between the form and formless strengthens, so too does our ability to see the face of truth and recognize its familiarity. The first step to finding our bliss is to be still. By clearing our minds and observing life without labeling anything we see, think or feel, it creates a space to simply be. And in this space can we truly recognize and hear God. The stillness of this space I speak of is not saved for the cloistered or leaders of meditation. It is an innate ability that is found in all of us.

Finding that stillness can be as simple as breathing. The breath is a great guide to our inner being. Following the breath puts attention on our inner body and the resulting focus is stillness and presence. When we can hold that space of stillness, we will be better equipped to use our life for finding our Truth. In the space of stillness is when we are most receptive to the messages of the Universe.

Next post: 5 Ways to hear the calling of our life and finding guidance to our Truth.